Worst Movie Ever

bemisnorris · Posted: 08 Jan 2003 09:35 AM Post subject:

I just saw what has got to be the worst movie I've ever seen. The movie was "Last Lives", starring C. Thomas Howell. Believe me when I say that it is very easy to please me when it comes to movies, but this movie was so bad that I turned the TV off halfway throught the movie!

The movie is about a murderer from a parallel world that comes to our world to kidnap C. Thomas Howell's fiancee. This murderer and the fiancee have visions of each other through their dreams. Judge Reinhold (completely miscast) comes out as a scientist from the same parallel world as the murderer, who comes to our world to help C. Thomas Howell rescue his fiancee. Judge Reinhold gives C. Thomas Howell 8 "life rings" that will bring C. Thomas Howell back to life if he dies.

Here are some of the highlights (lowlights?) of the movie:

1) Judge Reinhold warns C. Thomas Howell, "(murderer) is a dangerous man and you must fight him as a man without fear of death." (Almost Shakespearean, isn't it?)

2) As the murderer, his bodyguards, and the fiancee are driving away in a limo, the low fuel gauge light comes on and beeps. The murderer stares at the dashboard, then at the fiancee, then at the dashboard again, then back at the fiancee, and then he places his hand on her forehead and has a vision of a gas pump and then someone putting the gas hose in the tank of a car. (Couldn't he have just asked her what the light and the beeping meant?) Then he asks her, "The vehicle needs energy?"

3) After gassing up the limo, the murderer and his bodyguards kill everyone there and the cops (of course) suspect C. Thomas Howell. C. Thomas Howell pushes away from the cops and steals a cop car. A deputy shoots (once) at the car and the car crashes into a telephone pole. The Sheriff and the deputy that shot at the car run to the car. C. Thomas Howell is dead with a hole in his head. The Sheriff says, "Nice warning shot." The deputy sees C. Thomas Howell and starts puking! (This is when I told myself that I had seen enough)

I wish I could sue to get back the hour of my life I wasted on this shit!

Mr.Tasty · Posted: 08 Jan 2003 10:27 AM Post subject:

I heard there was a really cool Roger Corman style movie out there called HELL CENTRO. It's a slasher film about a land owner using an experimental insecticide to spray the fields and all his workers mutate after they go home. The mutants convene outside his house out in the country and kill him out by the tractors. Needless to say, the house is packed with his scantily clad teenage daughters, their hot friends and some boys they hid under their beds (plenty of sex scenes). The rest of the movie continues a la Night of the Living Dead.

Mr.Tasty · Posted: 09 Jul 2003 02:17 PM Post subject:

I tried to sit through Xanadu last night, just to test my threshold of pain.

Goddam this movie sucks!

elchrist · Posted: 09 Jul 2003 02:45 PM Post subject: The Worst Movie Ever Made

Well looky here... These film makers are claiming that they have settled this argument by making The Worst Movie Ever Made, the movie.

Wouldn't that be nice, right? Then we can all agree on the same one and we can all live in peace and harmony.

Well, you know what? After viewing the trailer, it actually seems like a pretty cool flick.

revramrod · Posted: 09 Jul 2003 04:07 PM Post subject: Re: The Worst Movie Ever Made

verbal · Posted: 10 Jul 2003 12:19 PM Post subject:

Forgot about these classics: Five Aces, and The Limey.

Surrender

Oh, The Edge blew too. A fuckin' movie about a stalking bear.