FW: Chain Mail or Jokes

elchrist · Posted: 29 May 2003 08:12 AM Post subject: FW: Chain Mail or Jokes

Many of us mysteriously become subscribed to someone's mailing list of jokes, chain mails and other retarded messages. You really have no idea how and why it happened and you sometimes don't know how to tell them to remove you off their damn list. So you let the messages flow into your mailbox only to find that just one out of the last 20 sent to you is actually good.

In this topic, we share that one good e-mail message.

elchrist · Posted: 29 May 2003 08:14 AM Post subject:

This one isn't actually that good, but I figured I'd start it of with the last e-mail message I received.

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's
certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that
the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short and you have to pass before you can
get into heaven so........

1) What days of the week begin with the letter T?
2) How many seconds are there in a year?
3) What is God's first name?"

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- how many days in the week begin with the
letter "T"? That one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow." The Saint's eyes
open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but .....
I'll give you credit for that answer.

How about the second one?" asks St. Peter. How many seconds in a year?" "Now
that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk and guess the only
answer can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how
in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd....."
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this and I'll
have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final
question.

Can you tell me God's first name?" "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I
can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but
just how in the world did you come up with the name of Andy as the first name of
God?" "That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS
OWN." St. Peter opens the Pearly Gates and said: "Run, Forrest, Run!!"

elchrist

Have you heard anything about Social Security Numbers and African-Americans and the 5th digit in your SS#? Supposedly, if you are an African American or a Minority the 5th digit in your SS# is EVEN, and ODD if you are White???

It has been said if you take a poll most African Americans will have an EVEN 5th digit. Rumor has it some companies are looking at potential employee's SS#s to discriminate.

Why not send this email to every African American and Minority that you know!! See if you are as shocked as I was (I polled 35 African-Americans, 34 had an EVEN 5th digit in their SS#, the 35th person was White/Puerto Rican).

Thank the lord! I'm an odd!

Mr.Tasty · Posted: 05 Jun 2003 01:35 PM Post subject:

Oh shit! My fifth number is 2. I guess I'm black.

Now I gots to start to start calling you fools my niggas!

Americano · Posted: 06 Jun 2003 06:47 AM Post subject:

wait a minute m=the fifth number in my SS is a 7, this means I'm white.
Shit, does this mean I have to start drinking Coors and smoke Winstons?

Mars · Posted: 06 Jun 2003 08:36 AM Post subject:

No manches! soy gringo!

spic-ole · Posted: 06 Jun 2003 07:19 PM Post subject:

I've only got one even number in my S.S. and it's not the 5th number. How white does that make me?

That also explains why I've gotten every job I've ever applied for.

Americano · Posted: 07 Jun 2003 06:01 AM Post subject:

Spic-ole
you're pretty damn white. I thought you were when I first saw you. So i would say about 90%

elchrist · Posted: 07 Jun 2003 08:26 AM Post subject:

chainsmokinmonkey · Posted: 09 Jun 2003 10:47 AM Post subject:

i'm white? but everyone says i'm samoan Boracho