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spic-ole
Coffee
Joined: 10 Oct 2002
Posts: 1625
Location: UC Calecia
  
Votes: 1
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 Posted: 20 Jan 2003 11:09 AM Post subject: Nuffet of the Buffet |
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The other day I went to Calexico's most well respected eating facility, "Hometown Buffet."
The food there always sems to be lacking one crucial ingredient: 1 dash of flavor.
Anyways, I did what anybody would do there and I stocked up on the stuff that would normally be really expensive at other restaurants and ate, and ate, and ate.
After my third plate of food, and my slice of chocolate cake, I decided that if I didn't go to the restroom soon, I was gonna shit my pants. So I scurried off as fast as I could, but slow enough to where it looks normal (you've all done it), to the restroom.
When I got to the bathroom I ran into the stall, and looked for those paper toilet seat covers, but there weren't any. So I did the next best thing and made three layers of covers with toilet paper.
Then I sat on the stall, and tried to relax as I unloaded. I couldn't do it!!! I was too uncomfortable. I couldn't figure it out, and then I looked down and realized that the stall was so high that my feet were dangling off the ground! No wonder I couldn't shit comfortably.
I think these guys do it on purpose. |
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chainsmokinmonkey
Peanut Salesman
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 967
Location: unemployment
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| Posted: 27 Jan 2003 09:42 PM Post subject: Re: Nuffet of the Buffet |
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| spic-ole wrote: | | Then I sat on the stall, and tried to relax as I unloaded. . |
you sat on the stall, or on the toilet. |
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Mars
Tecato Revisited
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 1363
Location: mangled in blackhole
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 03:18 PM Post subject: Re: Nuffet of the Buffet |
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| chainsmokinmonkey wrote: | | spic-ole wrote: | | Then I sat on the stall, and tried to relax as I unloaded. . |
you sat on the stall, or on the toilet. |
i don't think it matters where he sat, the point he is trying to get across is that he took a shit. And that point comes out, get it? comes out, like a turd see. Hey, is this thing on/ |
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watts
Wal-Mart Associate
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 220
Location: Latitude: 37° 47' North; Longitude: 122° 13' West
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 03:56 PM Post subject: |
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Was the toilet wall hung or floor mounted? If it is a wall hung toilet and your feet were dangling than it might have been installed too high. If the toilet is floor mounted and your feet still dangle than it just might be that you have short legs.
Next time, try and use the handicap stall. The toilets in there are almost always installed to a height of 17 to 19 inches to the lip. |
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Mars
Tecato Revisited
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 1363
Location: mangled in blackhole
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 04:26 PM Post subject: |
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| watts wrote: |
always installed to a height of 17 to 19 inches to the lip. |
That's what she said! |
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elchrist
See-thru Afro
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 7303
Location: Calecia.com
Votes: 14
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 04:29 PM Post subject: |
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| watts wrote: | | Next time, try and use the handicap stall. The toilets in there are almost always installed to a height of 17 to 19 inches to the lip. |
Squatters are the way to go. They are not prejudice against people of different heights and as long as everyone is on target, they stay cleaner*. You also only use a couple small bowls of water, so it's quite efficient.
* Just don't pack it with a roll of toilet paper. |
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spic-ole
Coffee
Joined: 10 Oct 2002
Posts: 1625
Location: UC Calecia
Votes: 1
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 04:46 PM Post subject: |
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| watts wrote: | | Was the toilet wall hung or floor mounted? If it is a wall hung toilet and your feet were dangling than it might have been installed too high. If the toilet is floor mounted and your feet still dangle than it just might be that you have short legs. |
It was floor mounted, but I don't have short legs. I'm almost 13 feet tall. I've taken dumps in a million different restaurants and this is the first time that it had ever happened.
Although, I do kind of remember that it looked like there was something wrong with the tile. Whatever it was, I think there's a conspiracy going down at Hometown Buffet.  |
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watts
Wal-Mart Associate
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 220
Location: Latitude: 37° 47' North; Longitude: 122° 13' West
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 05:00 PM Post subject: |
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The squatting toilets are actually called Turkish toilets. They are actually better for taking shits because the squatting position one is in while using these actually helps to push the shit out of you. The first time I ever came across one I was stunned.
In school, there were some foreigners in my dorm building who had never seen a toilet because there were dirty foot prints on the seat that indicated the dude had taken a shit. |
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chainsmokinmonkey
Peanut Salesman
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 967
Location: unemployment
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| Posted: 28 Jan 2003 06:26 PM Post subject: |
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| spic-ole wrote: | | watts wrote: | | Was the toilet wall hung or floor mounted? If it is a wall hung toilet and your feet were dangling than it might have been installed too high. If the toilet is floor mounted and your feet still dangle than it just might be that you have short legs. |
It was floor mounted, but I don't have short legs. I'm almost 13 feet tall. |
13 feet tall? maybe you were sitting on the stall. |
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