"The Heart Attack"

spic-ole · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 12:29 PM Post subject: "The Heart Attack"

I've got a great idea for a new steakhouse.

It's a one of those anti-healthy places where after the last bite of any meal you feel your heart stop for a couple of seconds.

I call it, "The Heart Attack."

Big, juicy steaks, carne asada's, anything meat. No fish, No chicken, no salads, no vegetables (unless it's garnish), nothing.

The meals include, meat with potatoes (baked or mashed), salsas, guacamole, etc...

Nothing in the place would be healthy or good for you.

None of the meals are cooked with pam or vegetable oil, it's all cooked with lard, to give it that good flavor.

Oh yeah, and to drink, nothing but beer, coke, and mountain dew. No water. The only water is imported straight from a garden house of a house in mexicali. So if you order water, get ready for Montezuma's Revenge.

Mars · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 12:35 PM Post subject:

sounds good. when do you open?

but what if i want a salad could i just get it with lard enhanced dressing?

spic-ole · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 12:41 PM Post subject:

amp · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 01:26 PM Post subject:

Let me suggest that you allow chicken, as long as it is deep fried. And, that pork of any kind be allowed on the menu, as well; I've never heard of a cut pork that doesn't harm in some way. Maybe the cheese could be fried into breaded cheese sticks and be served as dessert. One last suggestion: vegetables should be served on every table. Not to eat, but to get the attention of your waiter/waitress. When you want more tripa or carnitas, you throw a brussel sprout at your waiter. When he turns around you signal to him to bring more.

Oh, and don't forget to include a closet where you can check-in your club at the door.

Mars · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 01:32 PM Post subject:

That's true Pork is bad, it has to be if religons BAN it. So it must be included on the menu

can i have a dish named after me

it is going to be a half pound rib-eye cooked medium with a side of mashed potatos covered with bacon strips, and some porkchops on the side

amp · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 02:29 PM Post subject:

I would start the meal off with a plate of queso fundido with either chorizo in it, or chopped bacon pieces. My main dish would be 3 cuts of Ahujas, pan fried for maximum grease retention, laid over a bed of tripas that were fried in the leftover Ahuja grease(bacon may be added for extra flavoring and cardio damage). My vegetables would be guacamole,salsa tomatillo, and beans that have been refried in manteca. Included in the meal would be a dozen freshly made, very thin flour tortillas. To drink I would request that every five minutes the waiter bring me a large frosted mug of lager. For dessert I would have a fine Cuban or Dominican cigar.

I would also request an artichoke, pineapple, or any other sharp prickly fruit/vegetable to violently toss at my waiter's/waitress' face if they take longer than five minutes between beers.

This would be what my dream restaurant would serve. So, if you can provide these services for me, then I would be a customer for the rest of my very short life.

watts · Posted: 18 Nov 2002 02:39 PM Post subject:

Deep fried fat should be one of the appetizer. They eat them in the South. It is basically small sticks of lard about the size of a big steak fry and then dipped in batter and quickly deep fried. My heart stops just thinking about it.

.... mmmmmmm deep fried lard.

Mars · Posted: 19 Nov 2002 09:42 AM Post subject:

what about dessert?

I think a good dessert to finish off a meal like one of these should be lite.
So i think of lard infused cheesecake with some strawberries that have been soaked in sugar and brandy for a month poured on top. you can adorne plate with a couple of bacon strips shaped in the persons initals, would be a nice touch. you know it would make it personal, and a family atmosphere.

spic-ole · Posted: 19 Nov 2002 12:04 PM Post subject:

For dessert there will be fried lard.

Oh yeah, I forgot, there will be one vegetable allowed, green onions.
But these will be fried with the grease of the meat, to give it full flavor.

And yes, maybe some deep fried chicken will be allowed for the health conscious.

Pork, yes it is bad for you, it is allowed.

Any investors interested, send your money to my p.o. box.

Mr.Tasty · Posted: 20 Nov 2002 11:23 AM Post subject:

I'm way too late to join this party... Sad