Jokes, Baby!

spic-ole · Posted: 12 Nov 2002 02:21 PM Post subject:

A white guy walks into a bar with a black bartender. The white guy looks at the barman and says "Hey nigger, get me a drink." The barman gets enraged and says to the white guy, "That's not right man! How would you like it if I did that to you?" The white guy says, "I don't know. Let's try it." So the white guy gets behind the bar, and the black guy sits down and says, "Yo honky, get me a drink!" The barman walks politely over to the black guy and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve niggers here."

spic-ole · Posted: 12 Nov 2002 02:29 PM Post subject:

Q: What does a redneck find hard about eating a bald pussy?
A: Taking off the diaper first!

Why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?
There aren't any roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

what did one gay sperm say to the other?
how are we ever going to find an egg in all this shit?

spic-ole · Posted: 12 Nov 2002 02:31 PM Post subject:

A guy dies, goes to heaven, and walks up to the gatekeeper. The gatekeeper looks him over and says, "you're new here. I'll show you around before I take you to your room." The dead guy follows as the gatekeeper points out all the different sections of heaven. "...And over here on your left we have the Jews. There on the right are the Buddhists. Over there behind you are the Taoists..." and on and on. Finally they come up to a brick wall that is as tall and as wide as the eye can see. Behind the wall is a lot of laughing and cheering. Puzzled, the guy looks at the gatekeeper and says, "What's on the other side of that wall?" The gatekeeper snickers and says, "Oh, that's the Catholics. They think they're the only ones up here."

revramrod · Posted: 24 Nov 2002 06:16 PM Post subject:

A young Mexican man walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replies, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.” The Mexican says, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!" The man behind the counter says, "Well, you started it!"

spic-ole · Posted: 27 Nov 2002 09:06 PM Post subject:

SNORING NAVY GUYS...

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

spic-ole · Posted: 27 Nov 2002 09:37 PM Post subject:

Patient Operation

A white guy goes into a doctors office and tells the doctor, I want to be a Pollock. The doctor says, "We'll have to cut out 25% of your Brain", so the white Guy says, "Sounds fine.". After the operation the doctor says, "I have some bad news for you, I accidentally cut out 50% of your brain instead of 25%.", so the patient says, "Yo Bizotch, what I be now homeboy?".

spic-ole · Posted: 27 Nov 2002 09:47 PM Post subject:

A three legged dog walks into a saloon, looks around, and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Two condoms walked by a gay bar and one says to the other you want to go in and get shit faced.

A Mexican, Polack, Black, Italian, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Some kind of Joke?"

elchrist · Posted: 28 Nov 2002 01:59 PM Post subject: Here's a cute one

Q. How does Hitler tie his shoelaces?

A. In nazis.

revramrod · Posted: 28 Nov 2002 02:43 PM Post subject:

bemisnorris · Posted: 28 Mar 2003 10:22 AM Post subject:

Q: How does a man know when he's given a woman an orgasm?

A: Men don't care if a woman has an orgasm.