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pato
Nervous Breakdown
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 556
Location: Chicali
  
Votes: 1
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 Posted: 08 Mar 2004 02:00 PM Post subject: Gonna be a Dad!!! |
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| It was just confirmed to me 1 hour ago that my girlfriend is pregnant !!! We kinda had an idea that she was, but it wasn't till she showed me the test results that it hit me, I'm gonna be a dad!!! It's a pretty scary feeling man, a bunch of things keep going through my mind. Should I get married just cause of the baby, what's life gonna be like being married, should I not get married and stay at home but just be responsible for the child, should we just live together but not get married yet, am I never gonna fuck another woman in my life etc.... Can those of you who are dads please talk some sense into me, and what would you single guys do if this were to happen to you? |
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Americano
Coffee
Joined: 18 May 2003
Posts: 1640
Location: fair Verona
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| Posted: 08 Mar 2004 04:00 PM Post subject: |
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Hey man, Congrats on the great news.
I'm not a father and I'm not married (yet), but if I were you I would get married. I would want to have myself a family and a little place. That would be nice. |
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spic-ole
Coffee
Joined: 10 Oct 2002
Posts: 1634
Location: UC Calecia
Votes: 1
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| Posted: 08 Mar 2004 04:19 PM Post subject: |
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Well. there's a lot of stuff that you need to take into consideration.
1- Do you love the mother of your future child?
2- Can you see yourself being with that person for the rest of your life?
3- If you have problems, is the child going to be worth the trouble of dealing them out.
4- Are you financially stable?
If you said yes to all of these questions, 4th is the least important, then there is no reason why you shouldn't get married.
One thing is for sure, there will be moments where all these worries will dominate your life, and there will be moments where all these worries won't matter.
For example, when you see the sonogram, when the baby starts kicking, and most importantly when the baby is born, it doesn't really matter if you live in a shoe box, the only thing that will matter will be your baby.
Oh and here is some advice, if you plan on lying to people later on about when the girl got pregnant, get married before she starts showing. This way you can say you were already married. |
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revramrod
IVC Dropout
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 1409
Location: Calecia.com
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| Posted: 08 Mar 2004 09:52 PM Post subject: Re: Gonna be a Dad!!! |
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| pato wrote: | | It was just confirmed to me 1 hour ago that my girlfriend is pregnant !!! We kinda had an idea that she was, but it wasn't till she showed me the test results that it hit me, I'm gonna be a dad!!! It's a pretty scary feeling man, a bunch of things keep going through my mind. Should I get married just cause of the baby, what's life gonna be like being married, should I not get married and stay at home but just be responsible for the child, should we just live together but not get married yet, am I never gonna fuck another woman in my life etc.... Can those of you who are dads please talk some sense into me, and what would you single guys do if this were to happen to you? |
Congratulations, Pato.
I don't have any children, but I'm not single, either. So I'm kinda in between the advice demographic you're shooting for.
If you love your girlfriend, and you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, then by all means, marry her. This way, both of you will be happy as a married couple, and you will be able to raise your child (or children, if twins, etc.) in the best possible environment.
On the other hand, if you don't think you can commit yourself to her, which seems somewhat implied by the "am I never gonna fuck another woman in my life?" statement, then you really should sit down with her and discuss your options. It might be better to raise your child as friends, and not husband and wife, if you suspect that marital strife might surface, since it might put the child in a state of emotional distress as it grows up.
Of course, living together as an unmarried couple is also an option; assuming neither of you have any moral or religious reasons for not doing so. Good parenting doesn't come from marriage, anyway, it comes from, well, good parents. |
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lagarrapata
Cholo Nako
Joined: 15 Feb 2004
Posts: 12
Location: calexico
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| Posted: 09 Mar 2004 11:25 AM Post subject: |
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| Congratulations on your new addition. Which ever way you see it this baby is a new addition already. I am 30 and three years ago I had my one and only daughter, she is the bomb, I wish I could have had her many years before. Simply, life has not been the same since her birth, all of the responsability that are associated with a new child is frankly overwhelming, but the time, hugs and kissess surpass any fears that I ever had. I would not change anything. I always asked my self if I was ready to have a child and I never had an answer until one day, it happened. Now, people here mention very valid points, you should make sure that you marry for a good reason, to be with the other person for as long as possible, not just for the child. What if you and you mate are more toxic to each other together than separate but together reaching for one goal. Good luck, be there for your girl and your child as much as you can. |
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pato
Nervous Breakdown
Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 556
Location: Chicali
Votes: 1
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| Posted: 10 Mar 2004 10:10 AM Post subject: |
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Hey guys thanks for your words of advice. I really appreciate it.
| Ame-ricano wrote: | Hey man, Congrats on the great news.
I'm not a father and I'm not married (yet), but if I were you I would get married. I would want to have myself a family and a little place. That would be nice. |
After thinking about it these last few days, getting married isn't such a bad idea. I do love my GF and we get along very well, I did plan on marrying her, just not so soon. Having our own little place as you said does sound pretty cool.
| spic-ole wrote: |
1- Do you love the mother of your future child?
2- Can you see yourself being with that person for the rest of your life?
3- If you have problems, is the child going to be worth the trouble of dealing them out.
4- Are you financially stable? |
1. Yes I do
2. Yes
3. of course
4. I agree with this being the least important when all other 3 questions are met. I know couples who don't have a job and they have kids and rent an apartment and they somehow manage to make it. I have a job and I won't be paying rent, so things should be fine.
| revramrod wrote: | | If you love your girlfriend, and you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, then by all means, marry her. This way, both of you will be happy as a married couple, and you will be able to raise your child (or children, if twins, etc.) in the best possible environment. |
Like I said, I do love her and I do see myself being with her the rest of my life ( I did even before I knew she was pregnant), I just have fears of starting a new life, etc...
| lagarrapata wrote: | | I am 30 and three years ago I had my one and only daughter, she is the bomb, I wish I could have had her many years before. Simply, life has not been the same since her birth, all of the responsability that are associated with a new child is frankly overwhelming, but the time, hugs and kissess surpass any fears that I ever had. |
I really liked what you said Lagarrapata, I never wanted to have a kid when I was nearing my 30's, I just didn't feel that I was ready to have one, I guess this is god's way of saying that I am ready to have a kid and settle down. It really hit me last night when my GF told me that she couldn't wait to be big so that she can feel the baby move inside of her, that gave me a knot in my throat. |
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